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P*ssy Scented Candle

P*ssy Scented Candle


Hello and welcome back to another episode of C**ktober *frickin wolf howl + LSD* Straight man’s guide to fall. What’s your favorite fall tradition? I know mine. It’s candles. I love the scent of ca- I love having candles lit. Just makes me feel warm and cozy. *Anthony’s weird voice jiggling* There are thousands of scents in the store But only four (4) marketed to straight men! Mahogany, leather, tobacco, and whiskey. Because every straight man is apparently Ron Swanson. I think I enjoy those scents even less than I enjoy being told which scents I should enjoy by a candle. But, if I’m gonna make my own candle for straight men… Which scent should it be? What is the one scent that every straight man universally enjoys? And then… it hit me. *horns??* P***y! Miel: [in the background] ANTHONY, NO! M:That’s…really inappropriate. What is- what scent does every straight man enjoy? It’s true. M: Ehn.. I don’t know… his own farts? First, you’re gonna start with your *drops bag* wax. *spanks that bad boy* So then you measure how much you’re gonna need… by pouring it into your container Then you boil some water Loooove crafting. Now you take your wax… and you just dunk this whole container into the boiling water. Oh… oh, that’s hot. And there’s our wax. It’s a beautiful urine color. Stick this little sticky tape on the bottom, then you center it in the jar. There we go~ And I- I know it’s not just straight men that enjoy p***y. There are gay women, bi women, bi men, pansexual… And straight men… are the ones that are being oppressed. And now… the moment you’ve all been waiting for. I’m gonna make this candle smell like p***y. bUT wHaT iT sMeLL LiKE?? FiSh?? YeASt?? [sassy] Please… Amateurs… Turns out- ahhw!! There are three (3) common scents: The most obvious… Sweat. So I’ve been collecting my sweat all week. And I put it in this really cute jar that I got in Amazon. Two drops of human sweat… *drip* One… *drip* Two… *drip* oOH- I guess- I guess that’s three! The second scent took me quite a while to identify, but now that I have, I’m confident it’s correct. That scent… is metal. I know it seems crazy, but… Seems right, doesn’t it? Four drops of metal. You can either purchase this as an essential oil or you can make your own with pennies! *drip* *drip* And, finally the most important scent… It’s white wine. I- it’s- THIS, I know. This one, you probably think I’m absolutely crazy, but it’s… it’s white wine. Five drops. *drip* *drip* Two… *drip* Three… *drip* Four… *drip* Five… *drip* I.. guess we got six. You know those Bertie Bott’s jelly beans that they sell? The Harry Potter ones? This is what one of those jelly beans would taste like. If it was labeled p***y. *clinky stir* *tap* Then you take the p***y wax, aaand you pour it into your jar… *long whistle* Now you take your jar and you set it aside and just wait for it to… firm up. Things are heating up as they’re also getting cool… and hard. The candle is the.. can- the candle’s getting hard. I’m not… It’s just the candle. *snip* *snip* You cut the wick. *snip* AAaaAaAAaHhH!!!~ And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for… *spanky spanky* *gun noises* *whoOp wHOoP sHwOoP wSHH* *click* *sniffs* *remembers he used to be emo* *remembers he left Smosh* *clap* *clap* yEAhH!! I’m smelling this aaand I suddenly want to watch The Bachelor. I don’t know why, but I want to buy this candle a very nice glass of champagne. If I were to put a pair of underwear above this for two days, I can sell them on eBay. M: That’s nasty. What? That’s.. no I’m- M:You know what you said. I have never felt more straight in my life as I have smelling my homemade candle. This is the cutest jar. Bro, bro, you gotta smell this. *thunder crackling* God damn scientists. I’ve recreated a human body part… with… only one of its functions. This is what I call… Franken-gina. M: It’s so fucking stupid. That’s not stupid. M: [laughing] That’s so fucking- That’s- that’s a good name. Make sure to tune in Tuesday for my next episode of C**ktober. We’re gonna be making something that’s gonna make me a billionaire. And I’m spending it all on decorative gourds. See ya later bye guys. Press a like. *~spunky funky music~*

Comments (44)

  1. should i open an etsy shop to sell these?

    see ya later bye guys press a like 👍

  2. turn on english captions for a better experience 😩

  3. You miss ian like if yeah

  4. You could totally sell this on Etsy.

  5. I must be smelling like a pussy because no girls are attracted to me.

  6. does it actually smell like pussy though?

  7. My man Anthony got the Pussy on the Chainwax!

  8. Wow isn’t this kind of sexual? I mean it’s whatever u love doing but… like there’s no joke at the end explaining why it smells like idk pussy cats or something? Idk I just feel like this isn’t comedy, it’s just Anthony being horny.

  9. watch this with cc on

  10. i was expecting pineapple

  11. Is there anything better than pussy?

    Yes! A really good book.

  12. Look at his hair from his newest video, then look at this and you will truly know what it means to feel loss

  13. Anthony lookin FINE ASFFF

  14. 1:13 Anthony is Will Smith confirmed

  15. Did Anthony just became NPH?

  16. There's a candle named mantown

  17. IM DYING
    HAHA
    METAL

  18. If the title was put on CAP I would feel like I was watching old Smosh video ;_;

  19. 1:14 Anthony predicted YouTube rewind

  20. Thats a good name.

  21. Oh my lawd. I thought I was the only one who thought that some pussies smells like metal.
    I don't know anything about white wine, but I think it's supposed to be like a hint of apple or something citrus 😀

    I feel bad for my friends now because all they had was a stink of fish and mussels xD

  22. Look at the subtitles at 3:08

  23. When you smell pennies

  24. So glad Dan and Phil Crafts is back!

  25. Welcome to www.puppetlifecandles.com

  26. YOU ARE A BIG PADILDO

  27. Just scoop up a couple drops from the ocean

  28. Anthony we get it, you're gay

  29. I didn’t know you could get a Anthony padilla scented candle 🕯

  30. Just get a girl to squirt on that candle wax

  31. PUSSY!!! ⊙□⊙/

  32. 3:44 He was lowkey offended

  33. The closest thing I will get to a girlfriend

  34. With these videos hes blowing hot and cold- shall i continue?

  35. What the fuck am i watching

  36. PARKS AND REC FANS WYAAAAA

  37. Honestly have you Gus smelled a bottle of white wine after is been open for 3 days it smells like well…he’s not wrong

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